Resolutions

New Year resolutions don’t work with me. I make them and, like most people, break them. However in May I found myself in a bit of a rut, I wanted to be more flexible so resolved to stretch 3 times a week. I’m down to twice a week but I made a change.

In group therapy a few months ago we were sat quietly listening to someone talk when the woman sat to my left suddenly began screaming and leapt over the art therapist, hiding behind her. I wept with laughter, struggled to stay on my chair, to speak or calm down. Quite soon after that the therapist was signed off….. That isnt why Im talking about it….. It was the laughter. I realised I hadn’t laughed for months. That I silently smile when I could open myself up to the experiences and interact with them by laughing and enjoying my relationship with things.
So in June I decided to laugh more, to begin with it was very contrived, unnatural, awkward. But over time it’s begun sliding out of me before my brain has deliberately decided to laugh. My kids were taken aback to begin with but now they run to cuddle me and we laugh together at something funny someone says, the TV or a funny book. It is a new way of being around my kids and does take conscious effort most of the time but it is most definitely worth it.

July was when I realised I couldn’t run up and down the stairs without getting puffed out. Also I was in a grump, no good reason, I just felt that way. I suddenly announced to my Little Ones I was going for ‘twenty bounce’.
When my eldest was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum we bought a large trampoline for the garden (there is a reason why ASD and Trampolining go well together….. Honest!) and when he was in meltdown I used to tell him to go do twenty bounces….. Try it…… Its impossible to stay in a bad mood when bouncing…..
So after my own declaration to do 20 bounces both kids curiously followed me into the garden and then we were holding hands, bouncing in a circle laughing together. I haven’t bounced this week but want to get back into it.

So now we’re in August and yesterday I decided to actively spend my time on creative endeavours rather than slob in front of the television. Today I’ve read one and a half novels, written a blog post and done 2 puzzles with my Little One.

I like having something ‘extra’ to add into my days, to improve my day.  What I wasn’t expecting was for my resolutions to improve other people’s days and their relationships with me.

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