The other day my eagerly awaited new and working washing machine arrived. With 2 burly men.
They began by wheeling it to the front door and carrying it through the house towards the garage. Part way through the study……
Man – “It doesn’t fit. Look”
My head – Gawd.
Man – “look. It doesn’t fit”
My head – it may fit if I squint????
Man – “we’ll leave it here and get you a refund for the installation”
Me – “No. I can’t be left with a washing machine in the middle of my study””
My head – no thoughts……too much panic…….
Man – “it won’t fit”
Me – ” it will. Give me 10 minutes”
I donned my stripey wellies as a superhero dons their cloak and began the attack……
Well aimed kicks at the broken closed garage door, pushes, and punches all with loud gutteral alliteration.
The noise attracted the neighbours who gathered to watch the Amazonian warrior (me…..) bash the garage door off it hinges. Each asked if i was okay before stepping back and watching.
The burly men stood with their mouths agape as I kicked and pulled and grunted…. I’d like to think they were inspired by my awesome kickassness.
Their faces showed that horrified may be a closer description…..
The metal bars were ripped from the wooden frame and I edged the garage door up and over by inches, racing from one edge of the door to the next (a few friendly and helpful doormice would have helped its progress along)
The pathway through the garage was blocked by stacked boxes, to the height of my head. I shifted them out of the way with enough adrenaline to overcome the twinges that my back made.
Finally I stood back and red faced watched the men wheel the washing machine to its final destination. I then proceeded to block them in with the boxes and my friendly neighbour helped me with my doormouse dance to close the door again.
I went upstairs and started making a cuppa, job well done, when banging caught my attention….. I released the two burly men from my garage and after waving them a cheerful goodbye, which they didnt reciprocate, went upstairs to make my inner Amazonian Warrior a nice cup of tea.