The other night I lay in bed and used all my will to remain there. The need to self harm waved over me, rising from my chest and suffocating me. So I lay in bed. Everything burning, pushing me to get up and act. Instead I lay there and thought about the sensations, how cold the sheets were, what my partners breathing sounded like, eventually it passed and I could go to the bathroom without needing to do anything with a consequence (apart from a happier bladder!)
The next day that sensation, need, was gone and I cuddled my youngest, smelling his scent through his hair and watched cartoons with him. It did pass and I didn’t act on it, progress.