Finished reading The Shack which a friend passed onto me. The second book I’ve managed to read in years. As a child I constantly read, absorbing books and characters experiences to avoid my own. Then when I couldn’t find anything that appealed I started writing my own, childish repetitive never ending stories but I lived through them more than reality. A safe way to disassociate at that time.
The Shack is a book about a man and his relationship with God and the world when his youngest child is taken in a situation that I can barely think about and dare’nt relate to from fear. The book talks of relationships and the lack of hierarchy and power in a real relationship. The acceptance of people as they wholly are, as I hope to love my children, no expectations but love and acceptance, hope for their best but acceptance of their choices and freedom for their own choices.
Often my mental health, anxieties, experiences and confusion prevent me from letting my children ‘just be’ so I timetable times when I don’t demand or do but just enjoy being in their company. Sometimes I am lying on the floor as they play around me, sometimes I play with them, sometimes I just sit and marvel at the gift of having them to love.